The MUCH Awaited Answers

   This is it everyone! This is the blog post that some people have been waiting for. These are the much awaited answers to your questions. It did took me a lot of courage to write this post and so I am asking you all to bear with me as it is not easy to share with you what we're going through.

   Some of you may ask, "Why write this post?" I get tired of answering and feeling the pain whenever I encounter these questions. Here are some of the questions:

1. Are you pregnant?
2. When are you going to get pregnant?
3. Do you want kids?
4. Are you guys trying? 

   These are just some of the many questions thrown to me all at once. First of all, I am not pregnant. Second, I do not know when I will get pregnant. Third, I badly want kids. Fourth, yes we are trying.

   Pregnancy conversations upsets me or get me depressed. I can never think of ways on how to not cry and feel upset whenever I hear or read that someone is pregnant. I am not upset or sad because I do not want them to be happy but I feel that way because I know that I will have a hard time getting pregnant. 

   Seven months before we got married, I knew that there was something wrong me because my period lasts for more than a month and its getting unbearable that it affects my school and work. I went to the Kahuku Clinic to get an ultrasound on what really was happening to me. Raphael, then my boyfriend, went with me so I won't get that nervous. When I was inside the room, the Doctor checked me and I didn't know what he was thinking but I was praying that he would say that its nothing and that its just irregular period. However, he delievered a bad news for me. He diagnosed me with Polycystic Ovary Syndrome or PCOS. He mentioned something about gaining weight, not ovulating, and may lead towards Diabetes.

 

 

 

The day that I found out I have PCOS at Kahuku Clinic

   I knew since that day that I will have a hard time getting pregnant. This is what PCOS looks like:

  If you would like to know more about this --> click this link PCOS. With PCOS, I do not ovulate on my own. The follicles in the ovary that should mature to release eggs during ovulation stops developing and are called cysts. Without ovulation, I will never get pregnant.
  After I found out that I had this disease, Rap and I talked about things and it included my current situation. I remembered asking him if he still wants to marry me after we found out that I have this sickness. The last thing that I want to do is to drag people with me in this adversary. Rap answered that he will not leave me and will still marry me. I love him for saying those words as it calmed my grieving heart. 
  We've been married for 1 year 5 months and 6 days. We are still trying and still hoping that the Lord will bless us with a miracle.
  

PATRICIA